In A Galaxy of My Own

This entry is going to be more of a “you know what sucks?” kind of post. I have tons of pictures on my camera that need to be uploaded and I have yet to do it. I’m a big fan of procrastination if you haven’t already guessed. The boyfriend and I have planned a big day at the zoo tomorrow and I have already stuck my camera battery on the charger. I am making a promise to myself (and my site) that after I have taken an insane amount of pictures of panda bears, penguins, and lions. (HAPPY FEET!) I am going to dedicate an entry to picture moments that have obviously come and gone. It’s going to be big. So that’s just one of the many things that I think sucks as of late.

While I was at work today (over 8 hours and I hated every minute of it), I compiled a list of things that I absolutely hate. Some of these things have come from today’s experiences as well as some that have always bugged the crap out of me. I will try to explain each thing as much as possible. But first a little background information. I work at a restaurant. I’m not talking an Applebee’s or even a Steak N’ Shake. It’s independently owned and hardly anyone knows its there. It’s a great place dont get me wrong, but I’m not busting my back trying to serve the MILLIONS of customers we encounter everyday… thank God. I’m the assistant manager at this place and I do it all. I deal with customers, ordering stuff, setting up caterings, and dealing with the food. If you haven’t already guessed, most of this list will probably come from my current work experiences. So without anymore delays… Jess’ List of Things I Hate:

• Chatting during a movie. This is a big pet peeve of mine. I LOVE movies. I would be content for the rest of my life if I owned every movie ever made and a DVD player that would keep on trucking. Watching movies with friends and family is even more enjoyable because after you’re done, you have people to discuss it with. But I hate, hate, HATE it when people try to talk to me when I’m watching a movie. Don’t ask me questions about the movie, don’t ask me questions about the actors, don’t tell me what is happening in the movie, and I don’t want commentary!!! It’s simple, just watch it.
• Debit/credit cards are awesome. They are easy and fuss free. I have one compliant about them. When people think it is necessary for them to throw their debit or credit card at me when I give them their total after they’ve made their order. Nothing says trashy than throwing your credit card at someone who is simply trying to make your day a little easier by providing you food that you don’t have to slave over. Be a little more appreciative people and HAND me your card, I promise that I’ll be a hell of a lot nicer because of it.
• I think it’s awesome when we have people come in and want to eat in. The atmosphere is nice and it’s a quiet place to chat with your companion. But I hate the people who think it’s ok to come in, tell me they are eating in and then proceed to ask when we close because you’ll be sitting with your companion until that very moment. I had a couple of women come in and do this. I have stuff to do in the dining room when we are between the lunch and dinner rushes and I can’t do them because it’ll be rude to ruin the atmosphere that these women were seeking. They were there for over 5 hours talking!! And I swear they kept looking at us whenever we had to talk on the phone or at one another as if WE were interrupting their conversation!
• I hate it when people come in and automatically think I know what they are wanting to order. Here’s a clue… I don’t! They look at you expecting an answer and when you can only stare back, they give you a look that says “You’re an idiot.” We have menus for a reason, please use them.
• And then you have the people who expect stuff for free. They walk into your business and expect to pay for very little but walk out with half the restaurant. I know what I’m allowed to give customers free of charge, and it doesnt include half the menu. Most of the people who expect this work in doctor’s offices… I don’t come to their offices and expect free service.
• People who calling wanting an order to be picked up at a certain time and then are hours late. Then they complain about their food not being all that great. There is a reason we ask you want time you would like to pick up your food, so that we can ensure that it is of the best quality. So don’t blame us when you’re late.
• People who call the day before they are having a huge party for 60 people and want double the food to feed that many! I’m sorry but I find it kind of hard to believe that you haven’t known about a huge party you’re having that you can’t call a week in advance to arrange to feed those people.
• I hate it when people don’t stock before they leave for the day. I make sure my station is stocked before the next shift because I would want them to do the same for me… but do they? NO!
• People who want to exchange coins for bills but don’t give me a dollar in change. They give me like 85 cents and then look at me like I’m an idiot when I tell them I can’t give them a dollar for 85 cents.
• Older people who want a kid’s meal when it clearly states on the menu that you have to be 10 and under to order the kid’s meals. If we didn’t enforce it why in the world would we put it up there!
• People who brag constantly. I could care less where you’ve gone or where you’re going or what your husband/boyfriend is buying you.
• I hate it when you’re trying to pass someone driving really slow, how they speed up so you can’t pass them. Isn’t that illegal?
• Working a very long day and all you want to do is go home and chill, but you get stopped at every stinkin stop light on the way home.
• People who make absolute messes and walk away. CLEAN IT UP!
• People who do their laundry halfway. I hate going to use the washer and dryer only to find that someone has a load in the washer AND dryer and that they’ve been there for days. If you don’t have enough time to do your laundry wait until you do!
• People who run red lights… one day you won’t be so lucky.
• People who double park in really small parking lots.
• People who scout around parking lots hunting down people who are getting into their cars to leave. And then waiting for them to pull out just so they can park 3 spaces closer then the next available spot!
• People who park in handicap parking but don’t have a handicap sticker or license plate!

Whew! Ok, now I feel kind of better getting that all off my chest. My next entry will be all the pictures of accumulated over the summer!

I was in a car accident. Exactly 2 years ago from August 20th of this year. I was at a time in my life when everything was right where I wanted it. I was happy, content. I had just completed the hardest year of my music career and was nearing the end of the perfect summer. I was excited about starting a new semester and living with 3 roommates in our new apartment. I really had no complaints.

I’ll always remember that day. No matter how many years will pass. I woke up with a list of stuff I needed to do already forming in my head. I was proud of the way I had my life organized. 2 years as a music major in college was teaching me a lot about time management. I had to finish painting the downstairs wall red before I could go practice my audition pieces that needed to be ready the next morning. It was about 5:00 in the evening when I ran out of paint. I was eager to finish since school was starting back up the next day. I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart that turned into more of a hassle than I had wanted.  Bought the damn paint and started back home when it happened. I was a block away from my house when I was hit on the driver’s side by a Yukon going about 55 miles a hour. He ran a stop light at the exact time I was going through the intersection. The impact sent me spinning until I struck a fire hydrate. He seemed to barrel through me without even a second thought. The red paint had hit the windshield and exploded all over the inside of the car and myself. I remember my chest was on fire and I couldn’t move my legs. It was several minutes before help arrived. I was stuck in the car until firemen arrived to cut me out. They took me to the ER where I spent the next several hours undergoing x-rays and tests to make sure nothing was damaged. I could relay so many details about that night. How the ER smelled, the noises, what I experienced. It is the most horrific thing I have ever had to experience. Even after two years the nightmare of it all still seems to effect me.

So much has changed since that night. I missed my audition along with the first week of classes. It was decided after several weeks of trying to make it work that my music was to be shoved onto the back burner. That decision alone was enough to break my spirit. I had never had to admit defeat… on anything in my life. My pride was wounded. I felt like a failure. I tried so hard to carry on with my course load and my practicing. But I wasn’t getting enough sleep or eating healthy due to the stresses of trying to catch up to the rest of my studio. I was forced to drop down to 2 classes and I spent all my time in an empty apartment with nothing to do but watch tv and sleep. I fell into a deep depression. I could sit and stare at the wall for hours and never really notice. My family realized something had to be done when I was home for christmas break and all I wanted to do was cry. They forced me to go see a therapist when I returned to school for the spring semester. I tried to resume my course load but found it too overwhelming. My weekly sessions with my therapist were helping a great deal. She was helping me to cope with my feelings of grief and sorrow over my misfortune. I wish I could say I was cured. But so many things remind me of what has happened to me. Because of my wasted year I was forced to move back home. I’m going to school for psychology instead because too much time has passed with me not studying music. It would take far too long to work back up to the level I was at before my accident. I resent each bad thing that happens here because it just reminds me that I am here because of the accident. Every argument I have with my mother. Every bad day at work. Every obstacle I am faced with. My legs still hurt from my injuries and I know I will have these pains for the rest of my life. I think about the friends I havent seen or spoken too since I’ve left and I get so much more angrier. I think about where I would be now if I hadn’t been at that intersection, and the answer just makes me even more sad.

Not a night goes by that my mind doesnt drift to that day, and I’m thinking about my accident all over again. It makes me cry even harder because it makes me feel weak. I should be moving on with my life. But everything just reminds me of what I’ve lost and what I’ve been through. Nothing is black and white anymore. It all leads back to that day and I hate myself for it. My parents think I’m strong and all I feel is weakness. Things that make me cry, make me want to cry even harder because I just feel like none of it would have ever happened if the accident hadn’t happened. How is anyone supposed to overcome that? This feeling of grief and resentment. I have this heavy feeling that nothing will ever be like I thought it would be. I feel that every bad mood or feeling I have burdens me twice as much.

And what makes this all even worse is the fact that no one knows about any of this. Because if they knew, all I would hear is how I can’t let this accident run the rest of my life. I have to let it go and move on.

My mother and I got into a fight today. She is the manager at the restaurant I work at… and I am her assistant manager. I discussed something with her today at the store and she got mad about it when we were home. She said I attacked her and that I don’t know what I’m talking about because I’m not there all the time. My problem was that she was bringing it up… again… while we were at home. She’s my mother at home, not my manager. Of course it turned into this huge thing where it made the rest of my family mad. My grandparents are visiting from Pittsburg and I hated for them to witness us fighting so I ran upstairs real fast before they could see that I was crying. But once I got into my room all I could think was that this wouldn’t be happening if I were in Louisville where I belonged. If that accident wouldnt have happened I would be at school and there would be no fighting. I feel so alone all the time in my house. When my sister is upset and crying, my mother is always in her room to comfort her. When it’s me in my room crying, they all forget that I’m upset or they don’t care.

I’m just so confused with all that I’m feeling. I just wish someone could help me feel less confused.

I’ve managed a few adventures this summer so far. I always try to fit them in somewhere between school ending and school starting back up. It’s strange, when I was younger I was content to watch cartoons all day while living on chips and jello. Now, I’m all, “Let’s go do something!! ANYTHING!”

The boyfriend, Chaz, Mel, and myself took a much needed trip to Cedar Point for a 3 day weekend. We left on Friday afternoon, got lost, and made it to our resort hotel 7 hours later. Castaway Bay was awesome! It was right on the bay and even had its own indoor waterpark. We picked a good weekend to go because not too many people were there. Our first night we dined at the TGI Friday’s they had connected to the hotel. The only bad thing I can say about our first dining experience is that it was insanely hot in that place! I don’t know if it was because it was on the bay so part of the restaurant was open or they didn’t think air conditioning was nessecary. Our day spent in the park was better than I expected. It was overcast and the temperature was perfect for spending the day outside. We rode as many rides as we could and ate a lot of different food. (Come on, you can’t go to an amusement park and NOT sample the food!) Yeah the food was overpriced but we were on a mini vacation!! We were livin it up! After our long day riding awesome roller coasters (some weren’t so awesome) we decided to soak our aching feet in the 50 person grotto located in their indoor waterpark. Admission was included with the room fees so we definitely took advantage of that awesomeness. And awesome it was. Trust me, if you ever decide to stay at this resort, you HAVE to check out the indoor waterpark. Twas awesome. (How many times can I say awesome in one paragrapth?) The next day we were sad to pack it up and leave but, we were also very exhausted and not looking forward to a full work week ahead of us. So our mini vacation wasn’t exactly relaxing and refreshing because I know it took me a good 3 days after I was home to really recover. But we had fun and we got pictures!

Another summer past time of mine has been reading. I don’t know what it is about sunshine and hot temperatures that makes me want to plunge back into the library. I don’t normally read this heavily during the winter. So far I’ve read the Twilight series. I’ll have to save that for another entry. I’m currently in the middle of The Time Traveler’s Wife. If anyone has any book recommendations I would love for you to throw them my way!!

Along with reading I eat lunch with Mel once a week at her office! We take turns making lunch for each other and we’re not allowed to make the same thing twice. So far we’ve enjoyed chicken ceasar pasta salad, stir fry, PB&J sammies, salami wraps, and even BBQ hamburgers! (They were guuuuud!) I have some pictures of our lunches I can post up as well as some Cedar Point pictures.

And for the perfect ending to my summer past times post, I want to throw out CONGRATULATIONS to my friends Mel and Chaz! They are officially engaged as of last night and I am so utterly excited for them! I knew they would always be together but this just seals the deal! I am so very happy for both of them and I can’t wait to witness the next milestone of their lives together! Congrats again guys! I’m happy for you!