How Often is Not Often Enough?
For the first time since my car accident two years ago - I feel normal. I feel like my old self again. I honestly thought I would never get to the point of being functional without forcing it. I’m relieved to find motivation in myself to amount to something other than settling for whatever will be.
I’m in my third week of school and I have yet to miss a class. I’m getting my work done in a timely fashion and I have yet to make a bad grade on a quiz. I have energy to get up in the morning and actually look forward to what the day has in store for me. Around this time last year I was struggling just to walk out my front door. I’m excited about my future possiblilities and where my ambitions will take me. I thought the only answer was to return to university and pick up right where I left off, but I know now that I have other tempting options. I’m considering going to a completely different school next year in a completely different city. The idea of being so far away from my comfort zone scares me - why wouldn’t it? I think the change will be good for me. My legs are strong enough to get me through anything now. I was fumbling around with the idea of studying psychology instead of music last semester. I’m taking a second psychology class this semester and so far my mind hasn’t changed.
In the next few days I’m going to go about applying for my Associate in Arts. I have no idea what I will be doing with this degree and to be honest I had no idea I could obtain it if my advisor hadn’t pointed it out that I had enough credits to qualify. I think it’ll be my “Hooray” keepsake. Proof that something positive came from my time here. When I made the decision to move back home I seriously felt like I was running away. Hiding from a hard experience. If I stay hidden long enough… it would all go away. But I’ve been productive in my recovery. I may never use this piece of paper but knowing it’s there gives me the hope that everything is going to be alright - eventually.
Not only am I motivated to do well in school, but I’ve been taking on small projects. Over the summer I planned a trip for my friends and I to Cedar Point (pictures are here… I just need to post!). I made all the arrangements and planned the weekend. I think I did a good job and my friends all had fun! This fall I’m planning on hosting another dinner party for my friends. I did it last year right before Thanksgiving and it was a big hit. I had cocktails, appetizers, a really good meal, and homemade dessert. The house was clean and I had candles lit everywhere. After it was said and done, everyone was asking me when I was going to plan another one. Who knows, maybe this will turn into a yearly event! I haven’t made any definite plans yet, but I’ve been brainstorming. Last year I did roasted chicken, homemade mac and cheese, garlic asparagus, and Caesar salad. This year I want to do something different but equally satisfying. I’ve been looking into some really good pasta dishes - let’s face it… pasta is cheap and it’s a sure thing! Who doesn’t like pasta? I’ve got several promising recipes in mind. I’m planning early so I can decide on the best options possible.
I hate being neglectful when it comes to this blog. And to be honest I have like 3 drafts that I have started but have never finished. Maybe now that my motivation is coming back I can add “daily postings” to my goals list. I’m hoping to turn this into something that my family can read to catch up on what I’m doing. I have family all over the place and it’s sad that I feel like they barely know me. But if I’m only posting once every several months - that kind of defeats the purpose.
Aye! I hereby promise to post at least once a week if not more! If I do not follow through I give permission to Lolcat my room! Hey that wouldn’t be such a bad punishment!
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